How To ‘Handle’ Your Man

December 13, 2014 Fajar 0 Comments


With one of the most regularly asked dating questions being how to treat or behave towards your man when in a relationship it was unavoidable for me to write a post on the subject. Many of you might misjudge the title and ask ‘how can there be a certain way to behave with all guys’? Everyone is different right? Yes, that’s true. But in most cases, there are a few things that every girl should keep in my mind when it comes to her man. From my experience, and from my friend’s experiences, I noticed that there are some specific matters that keep coming up all the time when it comes to relationships and the ways girls behave when dealing with their men. So after making the same mistakes over and over (and over again), I finally learnt a couple of things that I’d like to share with you. So here are the ways of how to deal with your man, and a few ways to ‘handle’ him:

Don’t Hurt his Ego

Probably the most important thing you have to remember when it comes to your man. Men are, from nature, proud. Most of them are proud to the point where they won’t even come to say sorry even when they are wrong; they will simply come back to you and pretend like everything is ok when they know they are wrong in a fight. I made that mistake with Mat once and I don’t think he ever saw me again the same after that. One night, somewhere between a fight and the tears I was fighting to keep back I started shouting and telling him that he was a ‘miserable low-life’ who will never be happy because he doesn’t have the balls to go after whatever he wants from his life. I actually said that! Next thing I knew I looked up at him and he was in tears, which naturally made me cry as well and started apologising immediately. But it was too late; the damage was done. Matt never looked at me the same way again and I can’t forgive myself for that. I didn’t just hurt his ego; I killed it. I don’t think anyone ever spoke to him so bluntly and brutally before. So when it comes to this, learn from my mistake and make sure you don’t hurt your man’s ego, it’s the one thing that men are really proud about!

Understand That He Will Never Say ‘I’m sorry’

This very much relates to my previous point, but the sooner you understand this, the better! He just won’t do it. You might be having the biggest fight and he might be 100% wrong... but he will never admit it. So learn to deal with it and don’t pursue an apology. Instead, what you should do is look for those little signs that for him scream ‘I’m sorry!’ He will probably come back to you after a fight when he’s wrong and pretend that nothing is wrong. He might also put in some extra effort be a little sweeter than usually, or more attentive; he might come back with your favourite ice cream or movie and hold you all night long. So instead of expecting a ‘I’m sorry card’ with the ‘I’m sorry’ flowers, which will never arrive learn to appreciate the little signs that show you how sorry he is.


Let him do the chase

 From nature, men are predators. This is what they are supposed to do and you better let them. Don’t chase after your guy all the time, don’t take charge all the time... let him chase you. This will not only make him feel better, but he will also love you more for it. Let him miss you and let him ask you out... make him fight for it. They love a good challenge and they love the chase too.

Give him his space

This is where most women have trouble with a lot of the time. Stop bombarding him with 10 messages an hour – no you don’t have to talk every minute of every day. You don’t need to spend every waking minute together and you definitely don’t need to be sleeping at his place every night of the week. Let him do his thing, let him go out and have a guys-night-out if he wants to. If you have a fight, let him cool down – he will come back eventually when he’s ready. If you don’t do that, he will feel like he can’t breathe and eventually leave you to find his space. Maybe it helps to see it this way: being with someone doesn’t mean not having a life, it simply means making room for the other person in your own life. You both have your lives besides each other, and that needn’t change. Jut accommodate each other in your lives, don’t change them completel

Stay on good term with his friends

Just like your girlfriends’ opinions mean a lot to you, so do the opinions of his friends. So you have every reason to approach his friends and keep a good relationship with them. If you manage to get along perfectly then you have all the forces going with you. So don’t underestimate them and for your sake don’t try to make your guy distance his friends.... he will choose them over you. Encourage your man to spend time with his friends and even invite them over for a home-cooked meal while they watch their favourite football team. They will love you for it, and your guy will be proud of you. If his friends keep telling him what a ‘great girl’ he has, how can he even imagine leaving you?

 So this is a list of all the ways you can ‘handle’ your man to keep him next you longer and always stay on good terms with him. Do you have any more to add to this list or do you disagree with anything? Comment and let me know!



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