Who's a Perfect Little Girl?

November 09, 2014 Fajar 0 Comments

  

This morning I woke up to an email from a girl, asking me how she should behave to make a good impression, and to be ‘girlfriend material’, which, unsurprisingly, got me thinking about being perfect. We always look for Prince Charming, that one perfect guy who will swipe us off our feet and make us ride off into the sunset with him.  But, as idealistic (and unrealistic!) that is, let’s quit talking about Prince Charming for a second, and reflect back on ourselves.

 Which one of you can actually stand up and honestly say she fits the criteria for Cinderella? After reading that email, I was shocked. I thought that by now, all girls of a certain age and dating experience must have realized that the fairy is not exactly coming true with Prince Charming and Cinderella (or Sleeping Beauty for that matter), primarily because both characters simply don’t exist! It seems that a lot of girls have a distorted image of how they should be, and naturally, feel like they fall short of some unrealistic criteria that they impose on themselves. And who’s to blame them? Movies, fairytales and magazines put so much pressure on us, giving us a view of how a girl/woman should look, act, talk to impress and to be considered elegant and desirable. So I don’t know about all of you out there, but if it helps, I will tell you about myself!

  I’m not a princess, in fact I fall from grace with a loud ‘thud’ and probably land on my ass. And that happens a lot. I can’t walk gracefully on heels to save my life; in fact, I trip over completely flat surfaces, even wearing trainers. I will never have the perfect hair for all occasions; in fact, my hair is so big and messy that I’m lucky to get it under control most days. I will never have the perfect body and I don’t even need to, I’m not going to be on Next Top Model. Most of the time I’ll just say the first thing that comes to my mind without even thinking, which more often than not, is extremely embarrassing... but honestly who cares! I’m not going out trying to be a Princess, I will laugh my heart out and not care if everyone is staring if I feel like it. In fact, I believe that if I had to identify myself with someone, it would be Bridget Jones. Having watched that movie more than 50 times, I can see myself in so many things, that I feel like I’m laughing at myself every time. And I don’t even care. I will say one thing and mean another, I will embarrass myself, throw my Marlborough lights a million times in the drain before I finally manage to quit smoking, spend whole days in my bed just because I’m bored to get up and get dressed. I will binge eat every time I get nervous, wear a mismatching pair of socks and definitely not always have perfectly shaved legs. And the list goes on and on, but my point is that there is no such thing as a perfect little girl, that will make men go crazy for her because she simply fits all the criteria.

  Let’s face it: there will always be people that will turn us down, no matter how you look, sound, wear, etc. And for the reader that emailed me, if your goal is to impress with who you are, how can you judge who you should be, if there will always be people that won’t like you? So what does it even matter? And it’s so exhausting trying to be someone that you are not, it’s just not worth the trouble. And frankly, who would want that? There are not many people like you in this world, so instead of spending time trying to  impress other people, how about doing things to impress yourself? Maybe instead of trying to be ever so elegant, try to learn a new skill, a new language, or write a paper. It doesn’t matter, as long as it pleases you.



  And keeping all the instances that we fall short of the princess criteria, how about stop looking for Prince Charming? If we are not perfect, and no one said we should be, why is it that we keep looking for a perfect guy? Imagine how much better this world would be, if we found that one guy who is perfect for usand love him to the point that it doesn’t even matter anymore? Maybe I sound too idealistic now, but having fallen hard for two guys who definitely were not Prince Charming, with the standards that most women set, I learnt that it doesn’t matter. Because in the end, when you fall for someone, you will realise he’s probably far from meeting the criteria that you had set before falling in love, but you won’t care at all. And the sooner all girls realise this, the better. Just as you are not perfect, stop looking for that perfect guy who is going to look like Brad Pitt and behave like Edward Cullen. Who wants that? I wouldn’t fall for anyone like that, it’s just simply creepy - and I don't want to risk the 'glowing' part! Besides, the whole point of falling in love with someone is falling for all of their imperfections that seem perfect to you.

So to the reader that emailed me this morning asking how she can be the ‘perfect girl’ and to all of you out there who have this question: that girl does not exist! You are perfect just the way you are. You have flaws but so does everyone. And learn to love them, because how else do you expect someone else to do so if you can’t do it yourself? Learn to love yourself before expecting someone else to do that, and everything else will fall into place. Because afterall, the most important relationship, the most complex one and significant one is the one you have with yourself; and if you find someone to love you for that, then that’s just fabulous!


 What do you think? Is there a way that a girl should act, dress, talk to impress? Or is it better to just be yourself? Comment and let me know!

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