Cynicism... friend or foe?

October 21, 2013 Fajar 0 Comments





  Cynical would definitely not be at the top of my list when I talk about dating. However, after waking up one morning and finding myself amongst the ‘Top 10 Best Cynical Dating Blogs Of the Year, I have to admit it got me thinking a lot! Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled to find myself in that list; however I can’t help wondering: Are we becoming cynical without realizing it? Let’s face it; we are living in an era where romance has already died! Personally I think that if someone offers me their seat on the bus it’s romantic; on the other hand, if someone was waiting for me at home with candles and a bunch of rose petals saying ‘I Love You’ I would probably find it too cheesy, fake, pretentious, and the list goes on and on. Ok, yes that makes me cynical… but can you blame me? How often do we find the knight on the white horse, the perfect guy, our Mr. Dreamy? I’m just being realistic!

  Personally, heartbreak after heartbreak, I learnt not to expect too much from men, because more often than not, I get disappointed! Have a look through my past dating failures: Mat never broke up with his girlfriend (Just sex… or something more? And Will he ever leave hisgirlfriend for you?), Nick is happily married (Can you fall in love with twopeople at the same time ? and  Do we need to change to be in a relationship), Chris ended up dating 9 girls in 3 weeks (When is it too soon to get excited?), and so on. Of course you will probably say ‘that’s because you still haven’t met the right guy’, and you are probably right… but until then, I’ll keep thinking of the person that give up their seats for me as Prince Charming!

 
  
  I don’t know if cynicism is a good or bad thing. On the one hand, I’d say it makes us more realistic, we learn to not trust people easily (and that’s a hard-learnt lesson!), to be cautious before placing our heart in the hands of someone who blurted ‘I love you’ way too soon but on the other hand, we dismiss everything way too soon, and one day we might actually do the same thing with the right person! Maybe I was too cynical when I broke up with Nathan (After how much pain do we become emotionallyunavailable? ), just because he was too nice, because he said ‘I want to make you happy’ whenever I asked what he wanted out of our relationship, but I just couldn’t help it. Maybe we are programmed to think that unless there are some obstacles in our relationship, love life or dating then it is not real. I’m starting to think that we create a certain addiction to the pain we go through when someone breaks our hearts but we still hang on to him and it is that pain that makes us cynical, realistic, and pessimistic.

      

   However, having said all that, I think there’s something incredible about someone who is optimistic about what the future holds, someone who knows that her Prince Charming is out there, even if she has to kiss a lot of frogs before finding him. There are some people like that who brighten up our life and pass on to us their positive energy… if only I was one of them. I do believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just don’t believe in fairytales anymore, and I don’t trust people easily, which is not a bad thing, in my opinion… So yes, I am cynical after all, and might I add: proud of it!
I would love to know what you think though, am I cynical? Are you cynical? And what do you think of the blog making it to the ‘10 Best Cynical Dating Blogs’ of the year? COMMENT below and tell me what you think! 

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