Can you fall in love with two people at the same time?

April 25, 2013 Fajar 0 Comments



  We fall in and out of love all the time, even though the latter is much harder to do than the former. We fall for jerks that break our hearts, we fall for older men because of their experience or we might just fall for anyone that makes us feel special… but can we fall in love with two people at the same time?  This is the story of two guys that played a very important part in my life, and both broke my heart; so please excuse my potential lack of humor in this post, but as you will understand none of the two stories had a happy ending. Even though I was very much in love with both of these guys… I never expected it to happen at the same time!

  When I met Nick I was 18. He was 30. I knew he was too old for me, and our ‘relationship’ was wrong on so many levels. I had an on-and-off relationship with Nick for 3 whole years. He taught me a lot, and I’m planning to use my relationship with him as an example for many of my upcoming posts. In 3 years my relationship with Nick has taught me so many things about life and dating than anything else or anyone else ever has. From the very beginning Nick had been one hell of a complicated guy. We never dated properly, it was more like an on and off affair throughout the 3 years. At time he made my life hell and he would hurt me every chance he would get. So why did I stay with him? Well, I knew Nick many years before anything had happened between us, and I always loved him. But the reason that I put up with the excruciating relationship we had is because I was madly and unconditionally in love with him. Even now, quite a while after everything ended with him, I cannot say that I am completely over him. (But this is another topic that I’m planning on discussing in the future). 
  
  By the time I met Andy, I was in that mess with Nick for about a year. It is my personal belief that if there’s any chance that ‘love at first sight’ exists, it was exactly what I experienced with Andy.  I’m not a romantic and I definitely don’t believe in love at first sight, but since the first moment I saw Andy, it was like nothing I've never felt before; I couldn't look away and I knew I had to get to know him straight away. To make a long story short, I got to know Andy and we started dating; even though our relationship was really short-lived I somehow managed to fall deeply in love with him. I dated Andy for three months and I was madly in love with him, since the first moment. I would get butterflies in my stomach every time I saw him, and I couldn't go through the day if I didn't talk to him. For as long as it lasted, my relationship with Andy was amazing. He would treat me like a real lady; he took me to meet his family, he used to cook for me and was there every time I needed him. On the other hand, while I was dating Andy, Nick and I decided to take some time apart because things had gotten way too complicated; and even though I was head over heels with Andy, there wasn't a day when my mind wouldn't wander off to Nick. We talked from time to time, he would tell me that he misses me, and I would say I miss him too; but we both knew we were in over our heads and that our relationship was doomed. 


















  
  Unfortunately Andy left me 3 months later for someone else and it really broke my heart. It took me many months to get over him, and I couldn't even understand what was wrong with me and how I had fallen so deeply in love with someone, in such a short time! Nick contacted me shortly afterwards and the moment I heard his voice I realized that while I was still heart-broken and still in love with Andy, I never stopped loving Nick; on top of that I really wanted to see him. We got back together, and he kept breaking my heart over and over again for another two years until I said enough. More on Nick’s story however is coming on the next posts.

 After my two relationships, I still had that one question coming to my mind over and over again: “ Was I really in love with two guys at the same time? How is that possible?” From there on, every time I would ask someone “Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love with two people at the same time?” no one had a straight answer. And to this day, if I hadn't lived through it, I would still think it’s impossible to happen! Even though after my experience I knew that falling in love with two people at the same time was actually possible, I couldn't help but wonder: “Was I so emotionally worn out by my relationship with Nick that I desperately needed someone else to rescue me? And if so, if Nick had actually destroyed me emotionally, was I so willing to love someone else except him, that I actually made myself believe in love at first sight?” After careful consideration, I realized that even though it was true that Nick did exhaust me psychologically, I didn't fall for Andy because I needed someone to rescue me: it was just meant to be.  That led me to conclude that even though it is possible to fall in love with two people at the same time, you can never love someone for the same reasons you love someone else! I realized that the reasons that I fell madly in love with Nick were much different than the ones that made me fall for Andy.


  I fell in love with Nick because he gave me that sense of adventure, of something forbidden, of guilty pleasure. It was passion, lust, obsession, infatuation; and even though I did love him and care about him, passion was always the main factor that kept our relationship together.  I fell in love with Andy for very different reasons: he made me laugh, he spent time with me as a friend and he was just making it so easy for me to be myself that I couldn't help but falling for him.
 So if you are wondering whether it is possible to be in love with two people at the same time, or if you are actually experiencing it now, then in my view, it is perfectly normal. You can actually be in love with two people at the same time, but truth is, you will never love someone the same way you love someone else.
Comment and tell me about your experiences. Have you ever been in love with two people at the same time? How did it work out? Do you believe that you can be in love with two people at the same time? Also, I am sorry for not posting often enough, but it is exam period right now and I hardly find any free time!!
Please also offer ideas for new posts if you want!
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